Intimate partner violence takes on many forms, but in all cases relies on reducing the confidence of the victim in some way so that they don't feel like they can immediately leave the relationship. It's very difficult to overcome, but many people succeed. Here are some ways to help repair that confidence after intimate partner violence so that you can learn to trust other people again.
Rebuild existing relationships which have been damaged
In many case, as part of the abuse, relationships with existing family and friends are undermined and thus reduce the support network of the victim. These relationships are easiest to reform due to their existing history and can help to rebuild your self esteem. These people also understand your recent history and can be supportive of the sometimes bumpy road of recovery.
Examine of the dynamics of the relationship
For victims of intimate partner violence, it can often be useful to understand the typical dynamics within abusive relationships and examine how these apply to this relationship. It can often help to see that the dynamics of blame and ebbing and flowing violence are not unique to this relationship but usually follow a set pattern. Indeed, initially some victims of intimate partner violence find it hard to label all the abusive aspects of their relationships, including emotional and financial abuse. Understanding that the abuse is not just limited to the physical violence can help you to recognise abuse in the previous relationship, as well as any new relationships.
Often obtaining some helps using cognitive behavioural techniques (CBT) can be useful, to work out how to deal with initial reactions or automatic avoidance techniques caused by the abuse history.
Build self trust
For people coming out of abusive relationships, there can be some reluctance to make personal decisions as they may not have had permission to make these decisions for a long period, or been mocked for the decisions they have made. It can be useful to build up to making some decisions over time, from small decisions on clothing, food and makeup through to larger decisions on how to spend or make money, and how to spend time. Building gradually can help to develop confidence of your skill at making decisions.
If you are finding that you still need additional help in regain your confidence and trusting people it can be useful to have some counselling sessions with a psychologist through resources like Associated Psychology Services. They can help you to find specific ways to deal with any particular issues or triggers you might experience.
Share29 October 2015
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